Monday, December 14, 2009

Lessons to Live By

This is almost as good as the Old Testament book of Proverbs and a quicker read:


1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.


2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.


3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone...


4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and
parents will. Stay in touch.


5. Pay off your credit cards every month.


6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.


7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.


8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.


9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.


10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.


11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.


12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.


13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their
journey is all about.


14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.


15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God
never blinks.


16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.


17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful .


18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.


19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is
up to you and no one else.


20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for
an answer.


21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't
save it for a special occasion.
Today is special.


22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.


23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.


24. The most important sex organ is the brain.


25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.


26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words. 'In five years,
will this matter?'


27. Always choose life.


28. Forgive everyone everything.


29. What other people think of you is none of your business.


30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.


31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.


32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.


33. Believe in miracles.


34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did
or didn't do.


35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.


36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.


37. Your children get only one childhood.


38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.


39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.


40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd
grab ours back.


41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.


42. The best is yet to come.


43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.


44. Yield.


45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift."


Its estimated 93% won't forward this. If you are one of the 7% who will,
forward this with the title '7%'.

Monday, January 5, 2009

Words of Wisdom from George Carlin




Religious people do not have a monopoly on wisdom. One of the greatest stand up comics of the second half of the 20th century had this to say before he died. It is worthy of our attention.
Dukester

The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but
shorter tempers, wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness.



We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom. We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.



We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We've done larger things, but not better things.



We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less.



These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes.



These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete.



Remember, spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever. Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side. Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a cent.



Remember, to say, "I love you" to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you. Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again. Give time to love, give time to speak, and give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind.





HOW TO STAY YOUNG

1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and
height. Let the doctor worry about them. That is why you pay him/her.
2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.
3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle. " An idle mind is the devil's workshop." And the devil's name is Alzheimer's.
4. Enjoy the simple things.
5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.
7. Surround yourself with what you love, whether it's family, pets,
keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.
8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.
9. Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, to the next county,
to a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is.
10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.
AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:



Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the
moments that take our breath away.





-George Carlin

Monday, September 29, 2008

Week 4 Readings from the Tanakh

Bereshit 11
26 And Terah lived seventy years, and begot Abram, Nahor, and Haran.

27 Now these are the generations of Terah. Terah begot Abram, Nahor, and Haran; and Haran begot Lot.

28 And Haran died in the presence of his father Terah in the land of his nativity, in Ur of the Chaldees.

29 And Abram and Nahor took them wives: the name of Abram's wife was Sarai; and the name of Nahor's wife, Milcah, the daughter of Haran, the father of Milcah, and the father of Iscah.

30 And Sarai was barren; she had no child.

31 And Terah took Abram his son, and Lot the son of Haran, his son's son, and Sarai his daughter-in-law, his son Abram's wife; and they went forth with them from Ur of the Chaldees, to go into the land of Canaan; and they came unto Haran, and dwelt there.

32 And the days of Terah were two hundred and five years; and Terah died in Haran.

Chapter 12

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1 Now HaShem said unto Abram: 'Get thee out of thy country, and from thy kindred, and from thy father's house, unto the land that I will show thee.

2 And I will make of thee a great nation, and I will bless thee, and make thy name great; and be thou a blessing.

3 And I will bless them that bless thee, and him that curseth thee will I curse; and in thee shall all the families of the earth be blessed.'

4 So Abram went, as HaShem had spoken unto him; and Lot went with him; and Abram was seventy and five years old when he departed out of Haran.

5 And Abram took Sarai his wife, and Lot his brother's son, and all their substance that they had gathered, and the souls that they had gotten in Haran; and they went forth to go into the land of Canaan; and into the land of Canaan they came.

6 And Abram passed through the land unto the place of Shechem, unto the terebinth of Moreh. And the Canaanite was then in the land.

7 And HaShem appeared unto Abram, and said: 'Unto thy seed will I give this land'; and he builded there an altar unto HaShem, who appeared unto him.

8 And he removed from thence unto the mountain on the east of Beth-el, and pitched his tent, having Beth-el on the west, and Ai on the east; and he builded there an altar unto HaShem, and called upon the name of HaShem.

9 And Abram journeyed, going on still toward the South.

10 And there was a famine in the land; and Abram went down into Egypt to sojourn there; for the famine was sore in the land.

11 And it came to pass, when he was come near to enter into Egypt, that he said unto Sarai his wife: 'Behold now, I know that thou art a fair woman to look upon.

12 And it will come to pass, when the Egyptians shall see thee, that they will say: This is his wife; and they will kill me, but thee they will keep alive.

13 Say, I pray thee, thou art my sister; that it may be well with me for thy sake, and that my soul may live because of thee.'

14 And it came to pass, that, when Abram was come into Egypt, the Egyptians beheld the woman that she was very fair.

15 And the princes of Pharaoh saw her, and praised her to Pharaoh; and the woman was taken into Pharaoh's house.

16 And he dealt well with Abram for her sake; and he had sheep, and oxen, and he-asses, and men-servants, and maid-servants, and she-asses, and camels.

17 And HaShem plagued Pharaoh and his house with great plagues because of Sarai Abram's wife.

18 And Pharaoh called Abram, and said: 'What is this that thou hast done unto me? why didst thou not tell me that she was thy wife?

19 Why saidst thou: She is my sister? so that I took her to be my wife; now therefore behold thy wife, take her, and go thy way.'

20 And Pharaoh gave men charge concerning him; and they brought him on the way, and his wife, and all that he had.

Chapter 13

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1 And Abram went up out of Egypt, he, and his wife, and all that he had, and Lot with him, into the South.

2 And Abram was very rich in cattle, in silver, and in gold.

3 And he went on his journeys from the South even to Beth-el, unto the place where his tent had been at the beginning, between Beth-el and Ai;

4 unto the place of the altar, which he had made there at the first; and Abram called there on the name of HaShem.

5 And Lot also, who went with Abram, had flocks, and herds, and tents.

6 And the land was not able to bear them, that they might dwell together; for their substance was great, so that they could not dwell together.

7 And there was a strife between the herdmen of Abram's cattle and the herdmen of Lot's cattle. And the Canaanite and the Perizzite dwelt then in the land.

8 And Abram said unto Lot: 'Let there be no strife, I pray thee, between me and thee, and between my herdmen and thy herdmen; for we are brethren.

9 Is not the whole land before thee? separate thyself, I pray thee, from me; if thou wilt take the left hand, then I will go to the right; or if thou take the right hand, then I will go to the left.'

10 And Lot lifted up his eyes, and beheld all the plain of the Jordan, that it was well watered every where, before HaShem destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah, like the garden of HaShem, like the land of Egypt, as thou goest unto Zoar.

11 So Lot chose him all the plain of the Jordan; and Lot journeyed east; and they separated themselves the one from the other.

12 Abram dwelt in the land of Canaan, and Lot dwelt in the cities of the Plain, and moved his tent as far as Sodom.

13 Now the men of Sodom were wicked and sinners against HaShem exceedingly.

14 And HaShem said unto Abram, after that Lot was separated from him: 'Lift up now thine eyes, and look from the place where thou art, northward and southward and eastward and westward;

15 for all the land which thou seest, to thee will I give it, and to thy seed for ever.

16 And I will make thy seed as the dust of the earth; so that if a man can number the dust of the earth, then shall thy seed also be numbered.

17 Arise, walk through the land in the length of it and in the breadth of it; for unto thee will I give it.'

18 And Abram moved his tent, and came and dwelt by the terebinths of Mamre, which are in Hebron, and built there an altar unto HaShem.

Chapter 14

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1 And it came to pass in the days of Amraphel king of Shinar, Arioch king of Ellasar, Chedorlaomer king of Elam, and Tidal king of Goiim,

2 that they made war with Bera king of Sodom, and with Birsha king of Gomorrah, Shinab king of Admah, and Shemeber king of Zeboiim, and the king of Bela--the same is Zoar.

3 All these came as allies unto the vale of Siddim--the same is the Salt Sea.

4 Twelve years they served Chedorlaomer, and in the thirteenth year they rebelled.

5 And in the fourteenth year came Chedorlaomer and the kings that were with him, and smote the Rephaim in Ashteroth-karnaim, and the Zuzim in Ham, and the Emim in Shaveh-kiriathaim,

6 and the Horites in their mount Seir, unto El-paran, which is by the wilderness.

7 And they turned back, and came to En-mishpat--the same is Kadesh--and smote all the country of the Amalekites, and also the Amorites, that dwelt in Hazazon-tamar.

8 And there went out the king of Sodom, and the king of Gomorrah, and the king of Admah, and the king of Zeboiim, and the king of Bela--the same is Zoar; and they set the battle in array against them in the vale of Siddim;

9 against Chedorlaomer king of Elam, and Tidal king of Goiim, and Amraphel king of Shinar, and Arioch king of Ellasar; four kings against the five.

10 Now the vale of Siddim was full of slime pits; and the kings of Sodom and Gomorrah fled, and they fell there, and they that remained fled to the mountain.

11 And they took all the goods of Sodom and Gomorrah, and all their victuals, and went their way.

12 And they took Lot, Abram's brother's son, who dwelt in Sodom, and his goods, and departed.

13 And there came one that had escaped, and told Abram the Hebrew--now he dwelt by the terebinths of Mamre the Amorite, brother of Eshcol, and brother of Aner; and these were confederate with Abram.

14 And when Abram heard that his brother was taken captive, he led forth his trained men, born in his house, three hundred and eighteen, and pursued as far as Dan.

15 And he divided himself against them by night, he and his servants, and smote them, and pursued them unto Hobah, which is on the left hand of Damascus.

16 And he brought back all the goods, and also brought back his brother Lot, and his goods, and the women also, and the people.

17 And the king of Sodom went out to meet him, after his return from the slaughter of Chedorlaomer and the kings that were with him, at the vale of Shaveh--the same is the King's Vale.

18 And Melchizedek king of Salem brought forth bread and wine; and he was priest of G-d the Most High.

19 And he blessed him, and said: 'Blessed be Abram of G-d Most High, Maker of heaven and earth;

20 and blessed be G-d the Most High, who hath delivered thine enemies into thy hand.' And he gave him a tenth of all.

21 And the king of Sodom said unto Abram: 'Give me the persons, and take the goods to thyself.'

22 And Abram said to the king of Sodom: 'I have lifted up my hand unto HaShem, G-d Most High, Maker of heaven and earth,

23 that I will not take a thread nor a shoe-latchet nor aught that is thine, lest thou shouldest say: I have made Abram rich;

24 save only that which the young men have eaten, and the portion of the men which went with me, Aner, Eshcol, and Mamre, let them take their portion.'

Chapter 15

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1 After these things the word of HaShem came unto Abram in a vision, saying: 'Fear not, Abram, I am thy shield, thy reward shall be exceeding great.'

2 And Abram said: 'O L-rd GOD, what wilt Thou give me, seeing I go hence childless, and he that shall be possessor of my house is Eliezer of Damascus?'

3 And Abram said: 'Behold, to me Thou hast given no seed, and, lo, one born in my house is to be mine heir.'

4 And, behold, the word of HaShem came unto him, saying: 'This man shall not be thine heir; but he that shall come forth out of thine own bowels shall be thine heir.'

5 And He brought him forth abroad, and said: 'Look now toward heaven, and count the stars, if thou be able to count them'; and He said unto him: 'So shall thy seed be.'

6 And he believed in HaShem; and He counted it to him for righteousness.

7 And He said unto him: 'I am HaShem that brought thee out of Ur of the Chaldees, to give thee this land to inherit it.'

8 And he said: 'O L-rd GOD, whereby shall I know that I shall inherit it?'

9 And He said unto him: 'Take Me a heifer of three years old, and a she-goat of three years old, and a ram of three years old, and a turtle-dove, and a young pigeon.'

10 And he took him all these, and divided them in the midst, and laid each half over against the other; but the birds divided he not.

11 And the birds of prey came down upon the carcasses, and Abram drove them away.

12 And it came to pass, that, when the sun was going down, a deep sleep fell upon Abram; and, lo, a dread, even a great darkness, fell upon him.

13 And He said unto Abram: 'Know of a surety that thy seed shall be a stranger in a land that is not theirs, and shall serve them; and they shall afflict them four hundred years;

14 and also that nation, whom they shall serve, will I judge; and afterward shall they come out with great substance.

15 But thou shalt go to thy fathers in peace; thou shalt be buried in a good old age.

16 And in the fourth generation they shall come back hither; for the iniquity of the Amorite is not yet full.'

17 And it came to pass, that, when the sun went down, and there was thick darkness, behold a smoking furnace, and a flaming torch that passed between these pieces.

18 In that day HaShem made a covenant with Abram, saying: 'Unto thy seed have I given this land, from the river of Egypt unto the great river, the river Euphrates;

19 the Kenite, and the Kenizzite, and the Kadmonite,

20 and the Hittite, and the Perizzite, and the Rephaim,

21 and the Amorite, and the Canaanite, and the Girgashite, and the Jebusite.'

Chapter 16

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1 Now Sarai Abram's wife bore him no children; and she had a handmaid, an Egyptian, whose name was Hagar.

2 And Sarai said unto Abram: 'Behold now, HaShem hath restrained me from bearing; go in, I pray thee, unto my handmaid; it may be that I shall be builded up through her.' And Abram hearkened to the voice of Sarai.

3 And Sarai Abram's wife took Hagar the Egyptian, her handmaid, after Abram had dwelt ten years in the land of Canaan, and gave her to Abram her husband to be his wife.

4 And he went in unto Hagar, and she conceived; and when she saw that she had conceived, her mistress was despised in her eyes.

5 And Sarai said unto Abram: 'My wrong be upon thee: I gave my handmaid into thy bosom; and when she saw that she had conceived, I was despised in her eyes: HaShem judge between me and thee.'

6 But Abram said unto Sarai: 'Behold, thy maid is in thy hand; do to her that which is good in thine eyes.' And Sarai dealt harshly with her, and she fled from her face.

7 And the angel of HaShem found her by a fountain of water in the wilderness, by the fountain in the way to Shur.

8 And he said: 'Hagar, Sarai's handmaid, whence camest thou? and whither goest thou?' And she said: 'I flee from the face of my mistress Sarai.'

9 And the angel of HaShem said unto her: 'Return to thy mistress, and submit thyself under her hands.'

10 And the angel of HaShem said unto her: 'I will greatly multiply thy seed, that it shall not be numbered for multitude.

11 And the angel of HaShem said unto her: 'Behold, thou art with child, and shalt bear a son; and thou shalt call his name Ishmael, because HaShem hath heard thy affliction.

12 And he shall be a wild ass of a man: his hand shall be against every man, and every man's hand against him; and he shall dwell in the face of all his brethren.'

13 And she called the name of HaShem that spoke unto her, Thou art a G-d of seeing; for she said: 'Have I even here seen Him that seeth Me?'

14 Wherefore the well was called 'Beer-lahai-roi; behold, it is between Kadesh and Bered.

15 And Hagar bore Abram a son; and Abram called the name of his son, whom Hagar bore, Ishmael.

16 And Abram was fourscore and six years old, when Hagar bore Ishmael to Abram.

Chapter 17

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1 And when Abram was ninety years old and nine, HaShem appeared to Abram, and said unto him: 'I am G-d Almighty; walk before Me, and be thou wholehearted.

2 And I will make My covenant between Me and thee, and will multiply thee exceedingly.'

3 And Abram fell on his face; and G-d talked with him, saying:

4 'As for Me, behold, My covenant is with thee, and thou shalt be the father of a multitude of nations.

5 Neither shall thy name any more be called Abram, but thy name shall be Abraham; for the father of a multitude of nations have I made thee.

6 And I will make thee exceeding fruitful, and I will make nations of thee, and kings shall come out of thee.

7 And I will establish My covenant between Me and thee and thy seed after thee throughout their generations for an everlasting covenant, to be a G-d unto thee and to thy seed after thee.

8 And I will give unto thee, and to thy seed after thee, the land of thy sojournings, all the land of Canaan, for an everlasting possession; and I will be their G-d.'

9 And G-d said unto Abraham: 'And as for thee, thou shalt keep My covenant, thou, and thy seed after thee throughout their generations.

10 This is My covenant, which ye shall keep, between Me and you and thy seed after thee: every male among you shall be circumcised.

11 And ye shall be circumcised in the flesh of your foreskin; and it shall be a token of a covenant betwixt Me and you.

12 And he that is eight days old shall be circumcised among you, every male throughout your generations, he that is born in the house, or bought with money of any foreigner, that is not of thy seed.

13 He that is born in thy house, and he that is bought with thy money, must needs be circumcised; and My covenant shall be in your flesh for an everlasting covenant.

14 And the uncircumcised male who is not circumcised in the flesh of his foreskin, that soul shall be cut off from his people; he hath broken My covenant.'

15 And G-d said unto Abraham: 'As for Sarai thy wife, thou shalt not call her name Sarai, but Sarah shall her name be.

16 And I will bless her, and moreover I will give thee a son of her; yea, I will bless her, and she shall be a mother of nations; kings of peoples shall be of her.'

17 Then Abraham fell upon his face, and laughed, and said in his heart: 'Shall a child be born unto him that is a hundred years old? and shall Sarah, that is ninety years old, bear?'

18 And Abraham said unto G-d: 'Oh that Ishmael might live before Thee!'

19 And G-d said: ''Nay, but Sarah thy wife shall bear thee a son; and thou shalt call his name Isaac; and I will establish My covenant with him for an everlasting covenant for his seed after him.

20 And as for Ishmael, I have heard thee; behold, I have blessed him, and will make him fruitful, and will multiply him exceedingly; twelve princes shall he beget, and I will make him a great nation.

21 But My covenant will I establish with Isaac, whom Sarah shall bear unto thee at this set time in the next year.'

22 And He left off talking with him, and G-d went up from Abraham.

23 And Abraham took Ishmael his son, and all that were born in his house, and all that were bought with his money, every male among the men of Abraham's house, and circumcised the flesh of their foreskin in the selfsame day, as G-d had said unto him.

24 And Abraham was ninety years old and nine, when he was circumcised in the flesh of his foreskin.

25 And Ishmael his son was thirteen years old, when he was circumcised in the flesh of his foreskin.

26 In the selfsame day was Abraham circumcised, and Ishmael his son.

27 And all the men of his house, those born in the house, and those bought with money of a foreigner, were circumcised with him.

Chapter 18

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1 And HaShem appeared unto him by the terebinths of Mamre, as he sat in the tent door in the heat of the day;

2 and he lifted up his eyes and looked, and, lo, three men stood over against him; and when he saw them, he ran to meet them from the tent door, and bowed down to the earth,

3 and said: 'My lord, if now I have found favour in thy sight, pass not away, I pray thee, from thy servant.

4 Let now a little water be fetched, and wash your feet, and recline yourselves under the tree.

5 And I will fetch a morsel of bread, and stay ye your heart; after that ye shall pass on; forasmuch as ye are come to your servant.' And they said: 'So do, as thou hast said.'

6 And Abraham hastened into the tent unto Sarah, and said: 'Make ready quickly three measures of fine meal, knead it, and make cakes.'

7 And Abraham ran unto the herd, and fetched a calf tender and good, and gave it unto the servant; and he hastened to dress it.

8 And he took curd, and milk, and the calf which he had dressed, and set it before them; and he stood by them under the tree, and they did eat.

9 And they said unto him: 'Where is Sarah thy wife?' And he said: 'Behold, in the tent.'

10 And He said: 'I will certainly return unto thee when the season cometh round; and, lo, Sarah thy wife shall have a son.' And Sarah heard in the tent door, which was behind him.--

11 Now Abraham and Sarah were old, and well stricken in age; it had ceased to be with Sarah after the manner of women.--

12 And Sarah laughed within herself, saying: 'After I am waxed old shall I have pleasure, my lord being old also?'

13 And HaShem said unto Abraham: 'Wherefore did Sarah laugh, saying: Shall I of a surety bear a child, who am old?

14 Is any thing too hard for HaShem. At the set time I will return unto thee, when the season cometh round, and Sarah shall have a son.'

15 Then Sarah denied, saying: 'I laughed not'; for she was afraid. And He said: 'Nay; but thou didst laugh.'

16 And the men rose up from thence, and looked out toward Sodom; and Abraham went with them to bring them on the way.

17 And HaShem said: 'Shall I hide from Abraham that which I am doing;

18 seeing that Abraham shall surely become a great and mighty nation, and all the nations of the earth shall be blessed in him?

19 For I have known him, to the end that he may command his children and his household after him, that they may keep the way of HaShem, to do righteousness and justice; to the end that HaShem may bring upon Abraham that which He hath spoken of him.'

20 And HaShem said: 'Verily, the cry of Sodom and Gomorrah is great, and, verily, their sin is exceeding grievous.

21 I will go down now, and see whether they have done altogether according to the cry of it, which is come unto Me; and if not, I will know.'

22 And the men turned from thence, and went toward Sodom; but Abraham stood yet before HaShem.

23 And Abraham drew near, and said: 'Wilt Thou indeed sweep away the righteous with the wicked?

24 Peradventure there are fifty righteous within the city; wilt Thou indeed sweep away and not forgive the place for the fifty righteous that are therein?

25 That be far from Thee to do after this manner, to slay the righteous with the wicked, that so the righteous should be as the wicked; that be far from Thee; shall not the judge of all the earth do justly?'

26 And HaShem said: 'If I find in Sodom fifty righteous within the city, then I will forgive all the place for their sake.'

27 And Abraham answered and said: 'Behold now, I have taken upon me to speak unto the L-rd, who am but dust and ashes.

28 Peradventure there shall lack five of the fifty righteous; wilt Thou destroy all the city for lack of five?' And He said: 'I will not destroy it, if I find there forty and five.'

29 And he spoke unto Him yet again, and said: 'Peradventure there shall be forty found there.' And He said: 'I will not do it for the forty's sake.'

30 And he said: 'Oh, let not the L-rd be angry, and I will speak. Peradventure there shall thirty be found there.' And He said: 'I will not do it, if I find thirty there.'

31 And he said: 'Behold now, I have taken upon me to speak unto the L-rd. Peradventure there shall be twenty found there.' And He said: 'I will not destroy it for the twenty's sake.'

32 And he said: 'Oh, let not the L-rd be angry, and I will speak yet but this once. Peradventure ten shall be found there.' And He said: 'I will not destroy it for the ten's sake.'

33 And HaShem went His way, as soon as He had left off speaking to Abraham; and Abraham returned unto his place.

Chapter 19

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1 And the two angels came to Sodom at even; and Lot sat in the gate of Sodom; and Lot saw them, and rose up to meet them; and he fell down on his face to the earth;

2 and he said: 'Behold now, my lords, turn aside, I pray you, into your servant's house, and tarry all night, and wash your feet, and ye shall rise up early, and go on your way.' And they said: 'Nay; but we will abide in the broad place all night.'

3 And he urged them greatly; and they turned in unto him, and entered into his house; and he made them a feast, and did bake unleavened bread, and they did eat.

4 But before they lay down, the men of the city, even the men of Sodom, compassed the house round, both young and old, all the people from every quarter.

5 And they called unto Lot, and said unto him: 'Where are the men that came in to thee this night? bring them out unto us, that we may know them.'

6 And Lot went out unto them to the door, and shut the door after him.

7 And he said: 'I pray you, my brethren, do not so wickedly.

8 Behold now, I have two daughters that have not known man; let me, I pray you, bring them out unto you, and do ye to them as is good in your eyes; only unto these men do nothing; forasmuch as they are come under the shadow of my roof.'

9 And they said: 'Stand back.' And they said: 'This one fellow came in to sojourn, and he will needs play the judge; now will we deal worse with thee, than with them.' And they pressed sore upon the man, even Lot, and drew near to break the door.

10 But the men put forth their hand, and brought Lot into the house to them, and the door they shut.

11 And they smote the men that were at the door of the house with blindness, both small and great; so that they wearied themselves to find the door.

12 And the men said unto Lot: 'Hast thou here any besides? son-in-law, and thy sons, and thy daughters, and whomsoever thou hast in the city; bring them out of the place;

13 for we will destroy this place, because the cry of them is waxed great before HaShem; and HaShem hath sent us to destroy it.'

14 And Lot went out, and spoke unto his sons-in-law, who married his daughters, and said: 'Up, get you out of this place; for HaShem will destroy the city.' But he seemed unto his sons-in-law as one that jested.

15 And when the morning arose, then the angels hastened Lot, saying: 'Arise, take thy wife, and thy two daughters that are here; lest thou be swept away in the iniquity of the city.'

16 But he lingered; and the men laid hold upon his hand, and upon the hand of his wife, and upon the hand of his two daughters; HaShem being merciful unto him. And they brought him forth, and set him without the city.

17 And it came to pass, when they had brought them forth abroad, that he said: 'Escape for thy life; look not behind thee, neither stay thou in all the Plain; escape to the mountain, lest thou be swept away.'

18 And Lot said unto them: 'Oh, not so, my lord;

19 behold now, thy servant hath found grace in thy sight, and thou hast magnified thy mercy, which thou hast shown unto me in saving my life; and I cannot escape to the mountain, lest the evil overtake me, and I die.

20 Behold now, this city is near to flee unto, and it is a little one; oh, let me escape thither--is it not a little one? --and my soul shall live.'

21 And he said unto him: 'See, I have accepted thee concerning this thing also, that I will not overthrow the city of which thou hast spoken.

22 Hasten thou, escape thither; for I cannot do any thing till thou be come thither.' --Therefore the name of the city was called Zoar.--

23 The sun was risen upon the earth when Lot came unto Zoar.

24 Then HaShem caused to rain upon Sodom and upon Gomorrah brimstone and fire from HaShem out of heaven;

25 and He overthrow those cities, and all the Plain, and all the inhabitants of the cities, and that which grew upon the ground.

26 But his wife looked back from behind him, and she became a pillar of salt.

27 And Abraham got up early in the morning to the place where he had stood before HaShem.

28 And he looked out toward Sodom and Gomorrah, and toward all the land of the Plain, and beheld, and, lo, the smoke of the land went up as the smoke of a furnace.

29 And it came to pass, when G-d destroyed the cities of the Plain, that G-d remembered Abraham, and sent Lot out of the midst of the overthrow, when He overthrew the cities in which Lot dwelt.

30 And Lot went up out of Zoar, and dwelt in the mountain, and his two daughters with him; for he feared to dwell in Zoar; and he dwelt in a cave, he and his two daughters.

31 And the first-born said unto the younger: 'Our father is old, and there is not a man in the earth to come in unto us after the manner of all the earth.

32 Come, let us make our father drink wine, and we will lie with him, that we may preserve seed of our father.'

33 And they made their father drink wine that night. And the first-born went in, and lay with her father; and he knew not when she lay down, nor when she arose.

34 And it came to pass on the morrow, that the first-born said unto the younger: 'Behold, I lay yesternight with my father. Let us make him drink wine this night also; and go thou in, and lie with him, that we may preserve seed of our father.'

35 And they made their father drink wine that night also. And the younger arose, and lay with him; and he knew not when she lay down, nor when she arose.

36 Thus were both the daughters of Lot with child by their father.

37 And the first-born bore a son, and called his name Moab--the same is the father of the Moabites unto this day.

38 And the younger, she also bore a son, and called his name Ben-ammi--the same is the father of the children of Ammon unto this day.

Chapter 20

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1 And Abraham journeyed from thence toward the land of the South, and dwelt between Kadesh and Shur; and he sojourned in Gerar.

2 And Abraham said of Sarah his wife: 'She is my sister.' And Abimelech king of Gerar sent, and took Sarah.

3 But G-d came to Abimelech in a dream of the night, and said to him: 'Behold, thou shalt die, because of the woman whom thou hast taken; for she is a man's wife.'

4 Now Abimelech had not come near her; and he said: 'L-rd, wilt Thou slay even a righteous nation?

5 Said he not himself unto me: She is my sister? and she, even she herself said: He is my brother. In the simplicity of my heart and the innocency of my hands have I done this.'

6 And G-d said unto him in the dream: 'Yea, I know that in the simplicity of thy heart thou hast done this, and I also withheld thee from sinning against Me. Therefore suffered I thee not to touch her.

7 Now therefore restore the man's wife; for he is a prophet, and he shall pray for thee, and thou shalt live; and if thou restore her not, know thou that thou shalt surely die, thou, and all that are thine.'

8 And Abimelech rose early in the morning, and called all his servants, and told all these things in their ears; and the men were sore afraid.

9 Then Abimelech called Abraham, and said unto him: 'What hast thou done unto us? and wherein have I sinned against thee, that thou hast brought on me and on my kingdom a great sin? thou hast done deeds unto me that ought not to be done.'

10 And Abimelech said unto Abraham: 'What sawest thou, that thou hast done this thing?'

11 And Abraham said: 'Because I thought: Surely the fear of G-d is not in this place; and they will slay me for my wife's sake.

12 And moreover she is indeed my sister, the daughter of my father, but not the daughter of my mother; and so she became my wife.

13 And it came to pass, when G-d caused me to wander from my father's house, that I said unto her: This is thy kindness which thou shalt show unto me; at every place whither we shall come, say of me: He is my brother.'

14 And Abimelech took sheep and oxen, and men-servants and women-servants, and gave them unto Abraham, and restored him Sarah his wife.

15 And Abimelech said: 'Behold, my land is before thee: dwell where it pleaseth thee.'

16 And unto Sarah he said: 'Behold, I have given thy brother a thousand pieces of silver; behold, it is for thee a covering of the eyes to all that are with thee; and before all men thou art righted.'

17 And Abraham prayed unto G-d; and G-d healed Abimelech, and his wife, and his maid-servants; and they bore children.

18 For HaShem had fast closed up all the wombs of the house of Abimelech, because of Sarah Abraham's wife.
Chapter 21

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1 And HaShem remembered Sarah as He had said, and HaShem did unto Sarah as He had spoken.

2 And Sarah conceived, and bore Abraham a son in his old age, at the set time of which G-d had spoken to him.

3 And Abraham called the name of his son that was born unto him, whom Sarah bore to him, Isaac.

4 And Abraham circumcised his son Isaac when he was eight days old, as G-d had commanded him.

5 And Abraham was a hundred years old, when his son Isaac was born unto him.

6 And Sarah said: 'G-d hath made laughter for me; every one that heareth will laugh on account of me.'

7 And she said: 'Who would have said unto Abraham, that Sarah should give children suck? for I have borne him a son in his old age.'

8 And the child grew, and was weaned. And Abraham made a great feast on the day that Isaac was weaned.

9 And Sarah saw the son of Hagar the Egyptian, whom she had borne unto Abraham, making sport.

10 Wherefore she said unto Abraham: 'Cast out this bondwoman and her son; for the son of this bondwoman shall not be heir with my son, even with Isaac.'

11 And the thing was very grievous in Abraham's sight on account of his son.

12 And G-d said unto Abraham: 'Let it not be grievous in thy sight because of the lad, and because of thy bondwoman; in all that Sarah saith unto thee, hearken unto her voice; for in Isaac shall seed be called to thee.

13 And also of the son of the bondwoman will I make a nation, because he is thy seed.'

14 And Abraham arose up early in the morning, and took bread and a bottle of water, and gave it unto Hagar, putting it on her shoulder, and the child, and sent her away; and she departed, and strayed in the wilderness of Beer-sheba.

15 And the water in the bottle was spent, and she cast the child under one of the shrubs.

16 And she went, and sat her down over against him a good way off, as it were a bow-shot; for she said: 'Let me not look upon the death of the child.' And she sat over against him, and lifted up her voice, and wept.

17 And G-d heard the voice of the lad; and the angel of G-d called to Hagar out of heaven, and said unto her: 'What aileth thee, Hagar? fear not; for G-d hath heard the voice of the lad where he is.

18 Arise, lift up the lad, and hold him fast by thy hand; for I will make him a great nation.'

19 And G-d opened her eyes, and she saw a well of water; and she went, and filled the bottle with water, and gave the lad drink.

20 And G-d was with the lad, and he grew; and he dwelt in the wilderness, and became an archer.

21 And he dwelt in the wilderness of Paran; and his mother took him a wife out of the land of Egypt.

22 And it came to pass at that time, that Abimelech and Phicol the captain of his host spoke unto Abraham, saying: 'G-d is with thee in all that thou doest.

23 Now therefore swear unto me here by G-d that thou wilt not deal falsely with me, nor with my son, nor with my son's son; but according to the kindness that I have done unto thee, thou shalt do unto me, and to the land wherein thou hast sojourned.'

24 And Abraham said: 'I will swear.'

25 And Abraham reproved Abimelech because of the well of water, which Abimelech's servants had violently taken away.

26 And Abimelech said: 'I know not who hath done this thing; neither didst thou tell me, neither yet heard I of it, but to-day.'

27 And Abraham took sheep and oxen, and gave them unto Abimelech; and they two made a covenant.

28 And Abraham set seven ewe-lambs of the flock by themselves.

29 And Abimelech said unto Abraham: 'What mean these seven ewe-lambs which thou hast set by themselves?'

30 And he said: 'Verily, these seven ewe-lambs shalt thou take of my hand, that it may be a witness unto me, that I have digged this well.'

31 Wherefore that place was called Beer-sheba; because there they swore both of them.

32 So they made a covenant at Beer-sheba; and Abimelech rose up, and Phicol the captain of his host, and they returned into the land of the Philistines.

33 And Abraham planted a tamarisk-tree in Beer-sheba, and called there on the name of HaShem, the Everlasting G-d.

34 And Abraham sojourned in the land of the Philistines many days.

Friday, September 26, 2008

The Non-advanced Version of the Bible

>
>
> A child was asked to write a book report on the entire Bible.
> Through the eyes of a child: The Bible in a Nutshell
>
>
>
> In the beginning, which occurred near the start, there was nothing but God, darkness, and some gas.
> The Bible says, The Lord thy God is one, but I think He must be a lot older than that.
>
>
> Anyway, God said, 'Give me a light!' and someone did.
> Then God made the world.
>
> He split the Adam and made Eve. Adam and Eve were naked,
> but they weren't embarrassed because mirrors hadn't been
> invented yet.
>
>
> Adam and Eve disobeyed God by eating one bad apple, so they were driven from the Garden of Eden.
> Not sure what they were driven in though, because they didn't have cars.
>
> Adam and Eve had a son, Cain, who hated his brother as long as he was Abel.
>
>
>
> Pretty soon all of the early people died off, except for Methuselah, who lived to be like a million or something.
>
>
> One of the next important people was Noah, who was a good guy, but one of his kids was kind of a Ham. Noah built a large boat and put his family and some animals on it. He asked some other people to join him, but they said they would have to take a rain check.
>
>
> After Noah came Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. Jacob was more
> famous than his brother, Esau, because Esau sold Jacob his
> birthmark in exchange for some pot roast. Jacob had a son
> named Joseph who wore a really loud sports coat.
>
>
> Another important Bible guy is Moses, whose real name was Charlton Heston.
> Moses led the Israel Lights out of Egypt and away from the evil Pharaoh after God sent ten plagues on Pharaoh's people. These plagues included frogs, mice, lice, and no cable.
> God fed the Israel Lights every day with manicotti. Then he gave them His Top Ten Commandments.
>
>
> These include:
> don't lie, cheat, smoke, dance, or covet your
> neighbor's stuff.
>
> Oh, yeah, I just thought of one more:
> Humor thy father and thy mother.
>
>
> One of Moses' best helpers was Joshua who was the first
> Bible guy to use spies. Joshua fought the battle of Geritol and
> the fence fell over on the town.
>
>
> After Joshua came David. He got to be king by killing a giant with a slingshot.
> He had a son named Solomon who had about 300 wives and 500 porcupines.
> My teacher says he was wise, but that doesn't sound very wise to me.
>
>
> After Solomon there were a bunch of major league prophets.
> One of these was Jonah, who was swallowed by a big whale and then
> barfed up on the shore. There were also some minor league
> prophets, but I guess we don't have to worry about them.
>
>
> After the Old Testament came the New Testament. Jesus is the
> star of The New. He was born in Bethlehem in a barn.
>
> (I wish I had been born in a barn too, because my mom is always saying to me,
> 'Close the door! Were you born in a barn?' It would be nice to say, 'As a matter of fact, I was.')
> During His life, Jesus had many arguments with sinners like the Pharisees and the Democrats.
> Jesus also had twelve opossums. The worst one was Judas Asparagus.
> Judas was so evil that they named terrible vegetable after him.
>
>
> Jesus was a great man. He healed many leopards and even
> preached to some Germans on the Mount.
>
>
> But the Democrats and all those guys put Jesus on trial before Pontius the Pilot.
> Pilot didn't stick up for Jesus. He just washed his hands instead.
>
>
> Anyway's, Jesus died for our sins, then came back to life again.
> He went up to Heaven but will be back at the end of the Aluminum.
> His return is foretold in the book of Revolution

Monday, September 22, 2008

Lesson 3 Readings from the Tanakh

Bereshit 4
1 And the man knew Eve his wife; and she conceived and bore Cain, and said: 'I have gotten a man with the help of HaShem.'

2 And again she bore his brother Abel. And Abel was a keeper of sheep, but Cain was a tiller of the ground.

3 And in process of time it came to pass, that Cain brought of the fruit of the ground an offering unto HaShem.

4 And Abel, he also brought of the firstlings of his flock and of the fat thereof. And HaShem had respect unto Abel and to his offering;

5 but unto Cain and to his offering He had not respect. And Cain was very wroth, and his countenance fell.

6 And HaShem said unto Cain: 'Why art thou wroth? and why is thy countenance fallen?

7 If thou doest well, shall it not be lifted up? and if thou doest not well, sin coucheth at the door; and unto thee is its desire, but thou mayest rule over it.'

8 And Cain spoke unto Abel his brother. And it came to pass, when they were in the field, that Cain rose up against Abel his brother, and slew him.

9 And HaShem said unto Cain: 'Where is Abel thy brother?' And he said: 'I know not; am I my brother's keeper?'

10 And He said: 'What hast thou done? the voice of thy brother's blood crieth unto Me from the ground.

11 And now cursed art thou from the ground, which hath opened her mouth to receive thy brother's blood from thy hand.

12 When thou tillest the ground, it shall not henceforth yield unto thee her strength; a fugitive and a wanderer shalt thou be in the earth.'

13 And Cain said unto HaShem: 'My punishment is greater than I can bear.

14 Behold, Thou hast driven me out this day from the face of the land; and from Thy face shall I be hid; and I shall be a fugitive and a wanderer in the earth; and it will come to pass, that whosoever findeth me will slay me.'

15 And HaShem said unto him: 'Therefore whosoever slayeth Cain, vengeance shall be taken on him sevenfold.' And HaShem set a sign for Cain, lest any finding him should smite him.

16 And Cain went out from the presence of HaShem, and dwelt in the land of Nod, on the east of Eden.

17 And Cain knew his wife; and she conceived, and bore Enoch; and he builded a city, and called the name of the city after the name of his son Enoch.

18 And unto Enoch was born Irad; and Irad begot Mehujael; and Mehujael begot Methushael; and Methushael begot Lamech.

19 And Lamech took unto him two wives; the name of one was Adah, and the name of the other Zillah.

20 And Adah bore Jabal; he was the father of such as dwell in tents and have cattle.

21 And his brother's name was Jubal; he was the father of all such as handle the harp and pipe.

22 And Zillah, she also bore Tubal-cain, the forger of every cutting instrument of brass and iron; and the sister of Tubal-cain was Naamah.

23 And Lamech said unto his wives: Adah and Zillah, hear my voice; ye wives of Lamech, hearken unto my speech; for I have slain a man for wounding me, and a young man for bruising me;

24 If Cain shall be avenged sevenfold, truly Lamech seventy and sevenfold.

25 And Adam knew his wife again; and she bore a son, and called his name Seth: 'for G-d hath appointed me another seed instead of Abel; for Cain slew him.'

26 And to Seth, to him also there was born a son; and he called his name Enosh; then began men to call upon the name of HaShem.

Bereshit 5
1 This is the book of the generations of Adam. In the day that G-d created man, in the likeness of G-d made He him;

2 male and female created He them, and blessed them, and called their name Adam, in the day when they were created.

3 And Adam lived a hundred and thirty years, and begot a son in his own likeness, after his image; and called his name Seth.

4 And the days of Adam after he begot Seth were eight hundred years; and he begot sons and daughters.

5 And all the days that Adam lived were nine hundred and thirty years; and he died.

6 And Seth lived a hundred and five years, and begot Enosh.

7 And Seth lived after he begot Enosh eight hundred and seven years, and begot sons and daughters.

8 And all the days of Seth were nine hundred and twelve years; and he died.

9 And Enosh lived ninety years, and begot Kenan.

10 And Enosh lived after he begot Kenan eight hundred and fifteen years, and begot sons and daughters.

11 And all the days of Enosh were nine hundred and five years; and he died.

12 And Kenan lived seventy years, and begot Mahalalel.

13 And Kenan lived after he begot Mahalalel eight hundred and forty years, and begot sons and daughters.

14 And all the days of Kenan were nine hundred and ten years; and he died.

15 And Mahalalel lived sixty and five years, and begot Jared.

16 And Mahalalel lived after he begot Jared eight hundred and thirty years, and begot sons and daughters.

17 And all the days of Mahalalel were eight hundred ninety and five years; and he died.

18 And Jared lived a hundred sixty and two years, and begot Enoch.

19 And Jared lived after he begot Enoch eight hundred years, and begot sons and daughters.

20 And all the days of Jared were nine hundred sixty and two years; and he died.

21 And Enoch lived sixty and five years, and begot Methuselah.

22 And Enoch walked with G-d after he begot Methuselah three hundred years, and begot sons and daughters.

23 And all the days of Enoch were three hundred sixty and five years.

24 And Enoch walked with G-d, and he was not; for G-d took him.

25 And Methuselah lived a hundred eighty and seven years, and begot Lamech.

26 And Methuselah lived after he begot Lamech seven hundred eighty and two years, and begot sons and daughters.

27 And all the days of Methuselah were nine hundred sixty and nine years; and he died.

28 And Lamech lived a hundred eighty and two years, and begot a son.

29 And he called his name Noah, saying: 'This same shall comfort us in our work and in the toil of our hands, which cometh from the ground which HaShem hath cursed.'

30 And Lamech lived after he begot Noah five hundred ninety and five years, and begot sons and daughters.

31 And all the days of Lamech were seven hundred seventy and seven years; and he died.

32 And Noah was five hundred years old; and Noah begot Shem, Ham, and Japheth.

Bereshit 6
1 And it came to pass, when men began to multiply on the face of the earth, and daughters were born unto them,

2 that the sons of G-d saw the daughters of men that they were fair; and they took them wives, whomsoever they chose.

3 And HaShem said: 'My spirit shall not abide in man for ever, for that he also is flesh; therefore shall his days be a hundred and twenty years.'

4 The Nephilim were in the earth in those days, and also after that, when the sons of G-d came in unto the daughters of men, and they bore children to them; the same were the mighty men that were of old, the men of renown.

5 And HaShem saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and that every imagination of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually.

6 And it repented HaShem that He had made man on the earth, and it grieved Him at His heart.

7 And HaShem said: 'I will blot out man whom I have created from the face of the earth; both man, and beast, and creeping thing, and fowl of the air; for it repenteth Me that I have made them.'

8 But Noah found grace in the eyes of HaShem.

9 These are the generations of Noah. Noah was in his generations a man righteous and wholehearted; Noah walked with G-d.

10 And Noah begot three sons, Shem, Ham, and Japheth.

11 And the earth was corrupt before G-d, and the earth was filled with violence.

12 And G-d saw the earth, and, behold, it was corrupt; for all flesh had corrupted their way upon the earth.

13 And G-d said unto Noah: 'The end of all flesh is come before Me; for the earth is filled with violence through them; and, behold, I will destroy them with the earth.

14 Make thee an ark of gopher wood; with rooms shalt thou make the ark, and shalt pitch it within and without with pitch.

15 And this is how thou shalt make it: the length of the ark three hundred cubits, the breadth of it fifty cubits, and the height of it thirty cubits.

16 A light shalt thou make to the ark, and to a cubit shalt thou finish it upward; and the door of the ark shalt thou set in the side thereof; with lower, second, and third stories shalt thou make it.

17 And I, behold, I do bring the flood of waters upon the earth, to destroy all flesh, wherein is the breath of life, from under heaven; every thing that is in the earth shall perish.

18 But I will establish My covenant with thee; and thou shalt come into the ark, thou, and thy sons, and thy wife, and thy sons' wives with thee.

19 And of every living thing of all flesh, two of every sort shalt thou bring into the ark, to keep them alive with thee; they shall be male and female.

20 Of the fowl after their kind, and of the cattle after their kind, of every creeping thing of the ground after its kind, two of every sort shall come unto thee, to keep them alive.

21 And take thou unto thee of all food that is eaten, and gather it to thee; and it shall be for food for thee, and for them.'

22 Thus did Noah; according to all that G-d commanded him, so did he.

Bereshit 7
1 And HaShem said unto Noah: 'Come thou and all thy house into the ark; for thee have I seen righteous before Me in this generation.

2 Of every clean beast thou shalt take to thee seven and seven, each with his mate; and of the beasts that are not clean two and two, each with his mate;

3 of the fowl also of the air, seven and seven, male and female; to keep seed alive upon the face of all the earth.

4 For yet seven days, and I will cause it to rain upon the earth forty days and forty nights; and every living substance that I have made will I blot out from off the face of the earth.'

5 And Noah did according unto all that HaShem commanded him.

6 And Noah was six hundred years old when the flood of waters was upon the earth.

7 And Noah went in, and his sons, and his wife, and his sons' wives with him, into the ark, because of the waters of the flood.

8 Of clean beasts, and of beasts that are not clean, and of fowls, and of every thing that creepeth upon the ground,

9 there went in two and two unto Noah into the ark, male and female, as G-d commanded Noah.

10 And it came to pass after the seven days, that the waters of the flood were upon the earth.

11 In the six hundredth year of Noah's life, in the second month, on the seventeenth day of the month, on the same day were all the fountains of the great deep broken up, and the windows of heaven were opened.

12 And the rain was upon the earth forty days and forty nights.

13 In the selfsame day entered Noah, and Shem, and Ham, and Japheth, the sons of Noah, and Noah's wife, and the three wives of his sons with them, into the ark;

14 they, and every beast after its kind, and all the cattle after their kind, and every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth after its kind, and every fowl after its kind, every bird of every sort.

15 And they went in unto Noah into the ark, two and two of all flesh wherein is the breath of life. 16 And they that went in, went in male and female of all flesh, as G-d commanded him; and HaShem shut him in.

17 And the flood was forty days upon the earth; and the waters increased, and bore up the ark, and it was lifted up above the earth.

18 And the waters prevailed, and increased greatly upon the earth; and the ark went upon the face of the waters.

19 And the waters prevailed exceedingly upon the earth; and all the high mountains that were under the whole heaven were covered.

20 Fifteen cubits upward did the waters prevail; and the mountains were covered.

21 And all flesh perished that moved upon the earth, both fowl, and cattle, and beast, and every swarming thing that swarmeth upon the earth, and every man;

22 all in whose nostrils was the breath of the spirit of life, whatsoever was in the dry land, died.

23 And He blotted out every living substance which was upon the face of the ground, both man, and cattle, and creeping thing, and fowl of the heaven; and they were blotted out from the earth; and Noah only was left, and they that were with him in the ark.

24 And the waters prevailed upon the earth a hundred and fifty days.

Bereshit 8

1 And G-d remembered Noah, and every living thing, and all the cattle that were with him in the ark; and G-d made a wind to pass over the earth, and the waters assuaged;

2 the fountains also of the deep and the windows of heaven were stopped, and the rain from heaven was restrained.

3 And the waters returned from off the earth continually; and after the end of a hundred and fifty days the waters decreased.

4 And the ark rested in the seventh month, on the seventeenth day of the month, upon the mountains of Ararat.

5 And the waters decreased continually until the tenth month; in the tenth month, on the first day of the month, were the tops of the mountains seen.

6 And it came to pass at the end of forty days, that Noah opened the window of the ark which he had made.

7 And he sent forth a raven, and it went forth to and fro, until the waters were dried up from off the earth.

8 And he sent forth a dove from him, to see if the waters were abated from off the face of the ground.

9 But the dove found no rest for the sole of her foot, and she returned unto him to the ark, for the waters were on the face of the whole earth; and he put forth his hand, and took her, and brought her in unto him into the ark.

10 And he stayed yet other seven days; and again he sent forth the dove out of the ark.

11 And the dove came in to him at eventide; and lo in her mouth an olive-leaf freshly plucked; so Noah knew that the waters were abated from off the earth.

12 And he stayed yet other seven days; and sent forth the dove; and she returned not again unto him any more.

13 And it came to pass in the six hundred and first year, in the first month, the first day of the month, the waters were dried up from off the earth; and Noah removed the covering of the ark, and looked, and behold, the face of the ground was dried.

14 And in the second month, on the seven and twentieth day of the month, was the earth dry. 15 And G-d spoke unto Noah, saying:

16 'Go forth from the ark, thou, and thy wife, and thy sons, and thy sons' wives with thee.

17 Bring forth with thee every living thing that is with thee of all flesh, both fowl, and cattle, and every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth; that they may swarm in the earth, and be fruitful, and multiply upon the earth.'

18 And Noah went forth, and his sons, and his wife, and his sons' wives with him;

19 every beast, every creeping thing, and every fowl, whatsoever moveth upon the earth, after their families; went forth out of the ark.

20 And Noah builded an altar unto HaShem; and took of every clean beast, and of every clean fowl, and offered burnt-offerings on the altar.

21 And HaShem smelled the sweet savour; and HaShem said in His heart: 'I will not again curse the ground any more for man's sake; for the imagination of man's heart is evil from his youth; neither will I again smite any more every thing living, as I have done.

22 While the earth remaineth, seedtime and harvest, and cold and heat, and summer and winter, and day and night shall not cease.'

Bereshit 9
1 And G-d blessed Noah and his sons, and said unto them: 'Be fruitful and multiply, and replenish the earth.

2 And the fear of you and the dread of you shall be upon every beast of the earth, and upon every fowl of the air, and upon all wherewith the ground teemeth, and upon all the fishes of the sea: into your hand are they delivered.

3 Every moving thing that liveth shall be for food for you; as the green herb have I given you all.

4 Only flesh with the life thereof, which is the blood thereof, shall ye not eat.

5 And surely your blood of your lives will I require; at the hand of every beast will I require it; and at the hand of man, even at the hand of every man's brother, will I require the life of man.

6 Whoso sheddeth man's blood, by man shall his blood be shed; for in the image of G-d made He man.

7 And you, be ye fruitful, and multiply; swarm in the earth, and multiply therein.'

8 And G-d spoke unto Noah, and to his sons with him, saying:

9 'As for Me, behold, I establish My covenant with you, and with your seed after you;

10 and with every living creature that is with you, the fowl, the cattle, and every beast of the earth with you; of all that go out of the ark, even every beast of the earth.

11 And I will establish My covenant with you; neither shall all flesh be cut off any more by the waters of the flood; neither shall there any more be a flood to destroy the earth.'

12 And G-d said: 'This is the token of the covenant which I make between Me and you and every living creature that is with you, for perpetual generations:

13 I have set My bow in the cloud, and it shall be for a token of a covenant between Me and the earth.

14 And it shall come to pass, when I bring clouds over the earth, and the bow is seen in the cloud,

15 that I will remember My covenant, which is between Me and you and every living creature of all flesh; and the waters shall no more become a flood to destroy all flesh.

16 And the bow shall be in the cloud; and I will look upon it, that I may remember the everlasting covenant between G-d and every living creature of all flesh that is upon the earth.'

17 And G-d said unto Noah: 'This is the token of the covenant which I have established between Me and all flesh that is upon the earth.'

18 And the sons of Noah, that went forth from the ark, were Shem, and Ham, and Japheth; and Ham is the father of Canaan.

19 These three were the sons of Noah, and of these was the whole earth overspread.

20 And Noah the husbandman began, and planted a vineyard.

21 And he drank of the wine, and was drunken; and he was uncovered within his tent.

22 And Ham, the father of Canaan, saw the nakedness of his father, and told his two brethren without.

23 And Shem and Japheth took a garment, and laid it upon both their shoulders, and went backward, and covered the nakedness of their father; and their faces were backward, and they saw not their father's nakedness.

24 And Noah awoke from his wine, and knew what his youngest son had done unto him.

25 And he said: Cursed be Canaan; a servant of servants shall he be unto his brethren.

26 And he said: Blessed be HaShem, the G-d of Shem; and let Canaan be their servant.

27 G-d enlarge Japheth, and he shall dwell in the tents of Shem; and let Canaan be their servant.

28 And Noah lived after the flood three hundred and fifty years.

29 And all the days of Noah were nine hundred and fifty years; and he died.

Bereshit 10
1 Now these are the generations of the sons of Noah: Shem, Ham, and Japheth; and unto them were sons born after the flood.

2 The sons of Japheth: Gomer, and Magog, and Madai, and Javan, and Tubal, and Meshech, and Tiras.

3 And the sons of Gomer: Ashkenaz, and Riphath, and Togarmah.

4 And the sons of Javan: Elishah, and Tarshish, Kittim, and Dodanim.

5 Of these were the isles of the nations divided in their lands, every one after his tongue, after their families, in their nations.

6 And the sons of Ham: Cush, and Mizraim, and Put, and Canaan.

7 And the sons of Cush: Seba, and Havilah, and Sabtah, and Raamah, and Sabteca; and the sons of Raamah: Sheba, and Dedan.

8 And Cush begot Nimrod; he began to be a mighty one in the earth.

9 He was a mighty hunter before HaShem; wherefore it is said: 'Like Nimrod a mighty hunter before HaShem.'

10 And the beginning of his kingdom was Babel, and Erech, and Accad, and Calneh, in the land of Shinar.

11 Out of that land went forth Asshur, and builded Nineveh, and Rehoboth-ir, and Calah,

12 and Resen between Nineveh and Calah--the same is the great city.

13 And Mizraim begot Ludim, and Anamim, and Lehabim, and Naphtuhim,

14 and Pathrusim, and Casluhim--whence went forth the Philistines--and Caphtorim.

15 And Canaan begot Zidon his firstborn, and Heth;

16 and the Jebusite, and the Amorite, and the Girgashite;

17 and the Hivite, and the Arkite, and the Sinite;

18 and the Arvadite, and the Zemarite, and the Hamathite; and afterward were the families of the Canaanite spread abroad.

19 And the border of the Canaanite was from Zidon, as thou goest toward Gerar, unto Gaza; as thou goest toward Sodom and Gomorrah and Admah and Zeboiim, unto Lasha.

20 These are the sons of Ham, after their families, after their tongues, in their lands, in their nations.

21 And unto Shem, the father of all the children of Eber, the elder brother of Japheth, to him also were children born.

22 The sons of Shem: Elam, and Asshur, and Arpachshad, and Lud, and Aram.

23 And the sons of Aram: Uz, and Hul, and Gether, and Mash.

24 And Arpachshad begot Shelah; and Shelah begot Eber.

25 And unto Eber were born two sons; the name of the one was Peleg; for in his days was the earth divided; and his brother's name was Joktan.

26 And Joktan begot Almodad, and Sheleph, and Hazarmaveth, and Jerah;

27 and Hadoram, and Uzal, and Diklah;

28 and Obal, and Abimael, and Sheba;

29 and Ophir, and Havilah, and Jobab; all these were the sons of Joktan.

30 And their dwelling was from Mesha, as thou goest toward Sephar, unto the mountain of the east.

31 These are the sons of Shem, after their families, after their tongues, in their lands, after their nations.

32 These are the families of the sons of Noah, after their generations, in their nations; and of these were the nations divided in the earth after the flood.

Bereshit 11

1 And the whole earth was of one language and of one speech.

2 And it came to pass, as they journeyed east, that they found a plain in the land of Shinar; and they dwelt there.

3 And they said one to another: 'Come, let us make brick, and burn them thoroughly.' And they had brick for stone, and slime had they for mortar.

4 And they said: 'Come, let us build us a city, and a tower, with its top in heaven, and let us make us a name; lest we be scattered abroad upon the face of the whole earth.'

5 And HaShem came down to see the city and the tower, which the children of men builded.

6 And HaShem said: 'Behold, they are one people, and they have all one language; and this is what they begin to do; and now nothing will be withholden from them, which they purpose to do. 7 Come, let us go down, and there confound their language, that they may not understand one another's speech.'

8 So HaShem scattered them abroad from thence upon the face of all the earth; and they left off to build the city.

9 Therefore was the name of it called Babel; because HaShem did there confound the language of all the earth; and from thence did HaShem scatter them abroad upon the face of all the earth.

10 These are the generations of Shem. Shem was a hundred years old, and begot Arpachshad two years after the flood.

11 And Shem lived after he begot Arpachshad five hundred years, and begot sons and daughters.

12 And Arpachshad lived five and thirty years, and begot Shelah.

13 And Arpachshad lived after he begot Shelah four hundred and three years, and begot sons and daughters.

14 And Shelah lived thirty years, and begot Eber.

15 And Shelah lived after he begot Eber four hundred and three years, and begot sons and daughters.

16 And Eber lived four and thirty years, and begot Peleg.

17 And Eber lived after he begot Peleg four hundred and thirty years, and begot sons and daughters.

18 And Peleg lived thirty years, and begot Reu.

19 And Peleg lived after he begot Reu two hundred and nine years, and begot sons and daughters. 20 And Reu lived two and thirty years, and begot Serug.

21 And Reu lived after he begot Serug two hundred and seven years, and begot sons and daughters.

22 And Serug lived thirty years, and begot Nahor.

23 And Serug lived after he begot Nahor two hundred years, and begot sons and daughters.

24 And Nahor lived nine and twenty years, and begot Terah.

25 And Nahor lived after he begot Terah a hundred and nineteen years, and begot sons and daughters.

26 And Terah lived seventy years, and begot Abram, Nahor, and Haran.

27 Now these are the generations of Terah. Terah begot Abram, Nahor, and Haran; and Haran begot Lot.

28 And Haran died in the presence of his father Terah in the land of his nativity, in Ur of the Chaldees.

29 And Abram and Nahor took them wives: the name of Abram's wife was Sarai; and the name of Nahor's wife, Milcah, the daughter of Haran, the father of Milcah, and the father of Iscah.

30 And Sarai was barren; she had no child.

31 And Terah took Abram his son, and Lot the son of Haran, his son's son, and Sarai his daughter-in-law, his son Abram's wife; and they went forth with them from Ur of the Chaldees, to go into the land of Canaan; and they came unto Haran, and dwelt there.

32 And the days of Terah were two hundred and five years; and Terah died in Haran.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Beresheet:2-3

This week's scripture readings as they appear in the Tanakh:
4 These are the generations of the heaven and of the earth when they were created, in the day that HaShem G-d made earth and heaven.

5 No shrub of the field was yet in the earth, and no herb of the field had yet sprung up; for HaShem G-d had not caused it to rain upon the earth, and there was not a man to till the ground;

6 but there went up a mist from the earth, and watered the whole face of the ground.

7 Then HaShem G-d formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul.

8 And HaShem G-d planted a garden eastward, in Eden; and there He put the man whom He had formed.

9 And out of the ground made HaShem G-d to grow every tree that is pleasant to the sight, and good for food; the tree of life also in the midst of the garden, and the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.

10 And a river went out of Eden to water the garden; and from thence it was parted, and became four heads.

11 The name of the first is Pishon; that is it which compasseth the whole land of Havilah, where there is gold;

12 and the gold of that land is good; there is bdellium and the onyx stone.

13 And the name of the second river is Gihon; the same is it that compasseth the whole land of Cush.

14 And the name of the third river is Tigris; that is it which goeth toward the east of Asshur And the fourth river is the Euphrates.

15 And HaShem G-d took the man, and put him into the garden of Eden to dress it and to keep it.

16 And HaShem G-d commanded the man, saying: 'Of every tree of the garden thou mayest freely eat;

17 but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, thou shalt not eat of it; for in the day that thou eatest thereof thou shalt surely die.'

18 And HaShem G-d said: 'It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a help meet for him.'

19 And out of the ground HaShem G-d formed every beast of the field, and every fowl of the air; and brought them unto the man to see what he would call them; and whatsoever the man would call every living creature, that was to be the name thereof.

20 And the man gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found a help meet for him.

21 And HaShem G-d caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept; and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the place with flesh instead thereof.

22 And the rib, which HaShem G-d had taken from the man, made He a woman, and brought her unto the man.

23 And the man said: 'This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.'

24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife, and they shall be one flesh.

25 And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.

1 Now the serpent was more subtle than any beast of the field which HaShem G-d had made. And he said unto the woman: 'Yea, hath G-d said: Ye shall not eat of any tree of the garden?'

2 And the woman said unto the serpent: 'Of the fruit of the trees of the garden we may eat;

3 but of the fruit of the tree which is in the midst of the garden, G-d hath said: Ye shall not eat of it, neither shall ye touch it, lest ye die.'

4 And the serpent said unto the woman: 'Ye shall not surely die;

5 for G-d doth know that in the day ye eat thereof, then your eyes shall be opened, and ye shall be as G-d, knowing good and evil.'

6 And when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was to be desired to make one wise, she took of the fruit thereof, and did eat; and she gave also unto her husband with her, and he did eat.

7 And the eyes of them both were opened, and they knew that they were naked; and they sewed fig-leaves together, and made themselves girdles.

8 And they heard the voice of HaShem G-d walking in the garden toward the cool of the day; and the man and his wife hid themselves from the presence of HaShem G-d amongst the trees of the garden.

9 And HaShem G-d called unto the man, and said unto him: 'Where art thou?'

10 And he said: 'I heard Thy voice in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked; and I hid myself.'

11 And He said: 'Who told thee that thou wast naked? Hast thou eaten of the tree, whereof I commanded thee that thou shouldest not eat?'

12 And the man said: 'The woman whom Thou gavest to be with me, she gave me of the tree, and I did eat.'

13 And HaShem G-d said unto the woman: 'What is this thou hast done?' And the woman said: 'The serpent beguiled me, and I did eat.'

14 And HaShem G-d said unto the serpent: 'Because thou hast done this, cursed art thou from among all cattle, and from among all beasts of the field; upon thy belly shalt thou go, and dust shalt thou eat all the days of thy life.

15 And I will put enmity between thee and the woman, and between thy seed and her seed; they shall bruise thy head, and thou shalt bruise their heel.'

16 Unto the woman He said: 'I will greatly multiply thy pain and thy travail; in pain thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.'

17 And unto Adam He said: 'Because thou hast hearkened unto the voice of thy wife, and hast eaten of the tree, of which I commanded thee, saying: Thou shalt not eat of it; cursed is the ground for thy sake; in toil shalt thou eat of it all the days of thy life.

18 Thorns also and thistles shall it bring forth to thee; and thou shalt eat the herb of the field.

19 In the sweat of thy face shalt thou eat bread, till thou return unto the ground; for out of it wast thou taken; for dust thou art, and unto dust shalt thou return.'

20 And the man called his wife's name Eve; because she was the mother of all living.

21 And HaShem G-d made for Adam and for his wife garments of skins, and clothed them.

22 And HaShem G-d said: 'Behold, the man is become as one of us, to know good and evil; and now, lest he put forth his hand, and take also of the tree of life, and eat, and live for ever.'

23 Therefore HaShem G-d sent him forth from the garden of Eden, to till the ground from whence he was taken.

24 So He drove out the man; and He placed at the east of the garden of Eden the cherubim, and the flaming sword which turned every way, to keep the way to the tree of life.